ELOI ELOI LAMA SABACHTHANI
for my Father and Luciano Iacobelli
a word
spoken into flesh
caused my being
like hum to static
or consciousness returning
beatitude will fall softly
to lavish this sinner
with my arms pulled out
I know you are lofty
palm to palm
east to west
my thoughts have traveled
be it millennia ago
or centuries into the future
through folding patterns in time
desire gave me body,
and longing
pumps this heart
a nail
to prevent these hands
from reaching
thorns
to keep my eye
from seeing
beyond this life
to a time
where you put finger to lips and whispered,
"shhh... you only have to remember
that you are precious
and we are all born from love"
but that far back
I can no longer see
this earth and wood
limited by lifetimes
are nailed to my feet
leaving questions so simple
the answers
are impossible to perceive
so I gaze out
from this cross
and see the sun illuminating clouds
highlighting colours
blues
sepia and white
in my visions I see storms
auras of molecules
that compose space and define shape
some moving
some pulsing
some breathe through infinite space
my corpuscles
stars
whose light warms planets
my thoughts produce people
who enter the world
through mothers
and those who will stand while lying down
are those who will travel in time
and those who will travel while sick
will travel back lifetimes
can my sweat create an ocean
or just salt
like the sea?
will my blood carry hadrons
each cell
its own galaxy
where emotions create life
some fantastic light
and some cancers
thoughts like electric pulses
spilling out
and spiralling down
into a slow winding helix
leaving
my internal eye
swirling into to a space
where lifetimes are spent
crossing a two second divide
only to flatten into cubes
until my last inhale
pulls it into a thin hued line
where I will transfigure
and each particle
will shine
like passengers
to polar caps
a trillion light years away
from a millisecond
in a history
so ancient
it was forgotten
only to be remembered
before it takes place
on distant banks
the same shore
in some other vicinity
where my anguish
releases storms
my hour
true meaning
and those who would destroy it
are loved with equal measure
to those who would build it
for each time I strike in anger
my fist hits
the prison wall
and each time I expound laughter
I share in the life
of a beloved child
for if I find it
in myself to forgive
the universe will know joy
then I will understand peace
and my light
will never expire
but transform
beyond this final breath
to the very last ripple
at the centre of time
to the experience
I have chosen
therein lies the traveler
for we are all different degrees
of the same light
and by giving me life
you have forced me
to make mountains
and to my Father's hopes
his expectations
will create this situation in me
as I am made in his image
am I a god
like he?
and if I leave this trial
will everything I've created
cease?
is this
how a small creature
becomes king?
then this I will do
because
you asked me